When Your Personality Test Says You’re the ProblemHow self-awareness begins with seeing clearly - even when it stings
Have you ever looked in a mirror and not recognized the person staring back?
That’s what it can feel like when a personality diagnostic reveals something unexpected. Not because it’s wrong—but because it’s more honest than we’re used to being with ourselves.
Meet Walter
Walter (name changed) was a coaching client of mine, a senior manager who prided himself on being approachable, outgoing, and energizing in group settings. His team knew him as a high performer—and he genuinely believed he created a positive atmosphere at work.
Then he took the Hogan Personality Assessment.
The results confirmed some of what he knew. Yes, he was sociable. Energetic. Motivating.
But something else showed up: unpredictability.
His team described him as hot and cold. Sometimes tuned in. Sometimes distant. Always pushing for more, with little regard for what might be happening in his colleagues’ lives outside work.
Walter was stunned. “I don’t want to be that person,” he told me.
And that was the turning point.
The Mirror Isn’t the Enemy
Diagnostics like the Hogan aren’t judgment tools. They’re mirrors. Sometimes cracked. Often revealing. But ultimately, they offer insight into what others see—and invite us to decide what we want to do with that knowledge.
For Walter, that meant experimenting. Not overhauling. Just testing a few changes.
We started with the basics: real listening.
Not listening to fix. Not waiting to jump in. Just being present. Focused. Silent.
The feedback was immediate.
“You’re really listening,” a team member said to him. Just that. But it landed like a lightning bolt.
That one moment of recognition sparked more change.
He began journaling after tough conversations. He reconnected with his physical health and started working out again. He felt lighter. More grounded.
And gradually, he got curious about his own wiring—his need to please, his perfectionism. We explored these not to label or shame, but to understand. To work with them, not against them.
From Monkey Mind to Mindful Leadership
Walter’s story isn’t unique. Many high performers are surprised by the dissonance between how they see themselves and how others experience them. It’s not a flaw. It’s the human condition.
In coaching, we hold space for this dissonance—not to “fix” it, but to make meaning from it. To turn insight into small, doable experiments. Like listening without fixing. Asking better questions. Tracking emotional patterns. Rebuilding trust—first with ourselves, then with others.
As the International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines it:
Coaching is a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires clients to maximize their personal and professional potential
Sometimes that potential is unlocked not through bold transformation, but through quiet recognition.
The Role of Tools Like Hogan Personality Profiler
A personality assessment doesn’t define you. It reveals aspects of you—some visible, some hidden. It creates a common language for reflection and development.
But the real work happens in the coaching conversation:
when a client dares to say, “That’s not who I want to be.”
when we choose curiosity over defensiveness.
when we explore perfectionism not as a defect but as a strategy, a part of us that once protected us and may now need a new job
I f you’re curious about how tools like these can support your leadership or team development, let’s talk. I use assessments to open doors—not close them. And I combine them with reflective coaching to help leaders build confidence, clarity, and human-centered power in today’s complex work environments.
🪞Ready to look in the mirror? Start here: